Mama Bunkfish

Navigating marriage, motherhood, and mental illness on Jesus, caffeine, and naps!

A Day in the Life Of

My first alarm goes off. It catches me off guard because I just looked at my watch a couple hours ago. I hit snooze and doze back off, knowing my body isn’t ready. My second alarm goes off. This time I turn it off and brace myself. I know it’s going to hurt but I can’t lay here all day.

I pull myself up. At least I slept most of the night. I put one foot on the floor, the other resting on the side of our platform bed. I slowly stand up, knowing that I’ll limp to the bathroom but trying not to limp too much, as not to alarm Jacob. I have a seat and wait. Wait for my limbs to warm up. Wait for the stiffness and soreness to dissipate.

Ten minutes pass and I’m ready. Get the kids up. Ask what they want for breakfast. Did you feed the dogs? Did you give them water? You have to hurry, your ride will be here soon. Go brush your teeth. Here, let’s take your medicine. Let’s pray. Heavenly Father, thank you for this day. Please watch over us as we go to and from the places we need to go today. Help us to make good choices and be our best selves. Help us to remember who we are and whose we are. In Jesus’ name we ask it all, amen. Love you. Have a good day.

It’s quiet. The dogs are fine. I need coffee. And breakfast. Do I have the energy to put up the clean dishes? Yes; but I take a couple breaks or no – I’ll have to get one of the kids to do it. Eat. Take my morning pain meds and supplements. Contacts, inhaler, and brush my teeth. No meetings today? Okay; social media time. Then some planning. Meetings? Sit through meetings. Remember to stand up slow because my tailbone will scream at me. Feel energized by productivity but remember that I need a nap.

The day goes by quickly. No errands? Rest. Errands? Pray for close parking spots. Damn it. I should’ve asked the pain doctor about a handicap placard for the worst days. Rest and recuperate before the kids need to be picked up. Pick up the kids. Time to start dinner. Cook, clean while I cook, Monday, Wednesday, Friday – get Jo to practice. Tuesday and Thursday – I’m done when dinner is done and the kitchen is clean.

Bedtime. Kids take your meds. Brush your teeth. Put up the dogs. Good night. I love you. Yeah babe let’s talk. Bedtime face routine, meds, lay there and wait for pain to subside. Get comfortable. Pray. Pray hard. Pray for my friends and loved ones. Pray for those I said I would. Pray for myself. Thank Him for even giving me life.

Sleep. Deep – sometimes. Fitful – a lot. Pain free – rarely.

Tomorrow I do it again. Tomorrow I hope the pain is a little less than today. Tomorrow I smile if I slept well. Tomorrow I weep if I don’t sleep well but not in front of others. My mama told me, “I don’t look like what I’ve been through.” Ms. Forster told me, “Give the world your sunshine and Jesus your tears.” Tomorrow I do the things and smile through the pain because when I’m surrounded by people and things I love, I don’t feel the pain as much. I just have the reminders. The swollen limbs. The stiffness when I stand. But I keep moving. Because what else am I going to do? I have a life to live. And I promised myself that I would live it well.

Until next time, here’s to living in spite of.

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