Mama Bunkfish

Navigating marriage, motherhood, and mental illness on Jesus, caffeine, and naps!

I Woke up Like Dis (Flawless)

No I didn’t; I woke up looking and feeling like a hot mess. I put very little time and energy into my outside appearance and work hard, some days harder than others, to get the inside together. And I’m most definitely not flawless. As a matter of fact I’m full of flaws and on any given day I’m likely to tell you all about them.

I used to think that it made me ‘brave’ to be so honest about my flaws. Then I grew up (this was a very recent growth spurt by the way) and began to realize that part of the reason I can be honest is because it keeps me from getting as hurt by others. It’s that game of “Let Me Get Myself before You Get Me”. We live in a world where people are constantly pointing out what’s wrong with us so why not do the work for them and save myself some heartache, right?

Wrong. I take nothing away from myself for my honesty but I have learned some people don’t need to do that to be okay. Some people quietly deal with their issues, while others simply deny they have them. I have my opinions on that…but it’s my opinion…not fact, and really, who cares? What I’ve found is that when I spend more time loving people for who they are, instead of who I think they’re trying not to be, I find myself having a little more compassion for them; and it’s absolutely freeing.

I am a perfect mess. Sometimes I fall back into the habit of thinking…if ‘they’d just be honest with themselves’…which ultimately leads me to sounding like a self-righteous jerk face, even if it’s only to myself. But in the midst of my mess I’m learning that whatever face someone shows me I have to look it right it in the eye and deal with it.

Until next time…

Leave comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked with *.

%d bloggers like this: