It’s been a busy weekend at the Compound doing something I’ve dreaded for awhile – family photos. We had church directory pictures Friday and then I came up with the brilliant idea to have a photographer come and do a ‘lifestyle’ session at our home on Saturday. If you know my 5 year old – he stole the show. Not because he’s ridiculously cute, but because he hates wearing anything that isn’t a cotton blend and can’t be slept in. But that’s not why I treaded it – I just needed to get that off my chest.
I love taking selfies. On most days I actually think I’m a pretty cute woman; I’ll even go out on a limb and say beautiful. And depending on the outfit I’m wearing you can’t tell me that I’m not as fine as wine. But when I check out full body photos, that confidence I’m so secure in seems to plummet. I know it’s said that the camera adds ten pounds but when I see myself, I feel like it’s added 40. On the one hand, it makes me wonder if I have an unrealistic view of how I look. On the other hand, it makes me wonder if I actually care or if anybody else does.
I’ve avoided taking group photos with the people I love because I was worried that I’d look fat….but I am fat. But I’m also funny, honest, loving, and a gaggle of other things. And the arms that I think are way too big are the same arms that my rowdy 5 year old loves to have wrapped around him. And the face that I think is a bit too chubby is the same one that my daughter loves to stand cheek-to-cheek to and take pics with on my phone. And the waist that I wish were a little bit smaller, is the same one that my husband loves to wrap his arms around while I’m washing dishes. Now don’t get me wrong, I realize that losing weight is a good thing, and I’m working on it, but this post isn’t about that. So please don’t even go there. (I am on steroids and cannot be held responsible for what I might say).
You see, a picture only represents a moment. If I go back through all the pictures of me at various weights and moments, the one thing that remains the same is my smile. Because my smile comes from the love I feel from the people I’m surrounded by…not the size of my pants at that time. I can’t wait to share some pictures and our smiles.
Until next time….