Mama Bunkfish

Navigating marriage, motherhood, and mental illness on Jesus, caffeine, and naps!

The Laundry’s Never Done

I hate doing laundry. I love having clean clothes and get exhilarated when I see them neatly put in drawers or hung in the closet. But the process wears me out. As soon as I’m ‘done’ I look around, only to find a loose sock that didn’t make it or a pile that’s grown exponentially in a matter of hours. While I want to throw my hands up and walk away, I know that the reward of not having to wear the back-up socks (the ones with the hole in the big toe) is worth the time and effort. As I stood in front of my washing machine yesterday, contemplating when I’d start the next vicious cycle, it occurred to me that our personal growth is a lot like laundry – it’s never really done.

When I think about who I was as a young adult versus who I am now (I like to believe I’m a young adult but I’m not – ask my joints), I realize that some things have changed. They haven’t been drastic changes to those around me but for me, they are huge. There are things that I won’t do anymore and things that I said I’d never do that I readily take on. I don’t dare say that I’m better than I was but more that I make better choices (at least most of the time). And the more that I think about that, it’s not even that they’re better, they’re just better informed. Experience and knowledge have changed the way I think about certain things, thus changing my actions. Still, with all of that change, there’s room for growth.

When I think about the ‘dysfunctional’ events I see occurring around me, the common thread is an inability for those involved to realize that they haven’t arrived. And that’s a dangerous place to be. If we start to believe that who we are and what we know can’t or shouldn’t ever change, we limit the possibility of bettering ourselves and our lives. Yes, there are some things that we should be firm in, for example our faith; but firm doesn’t move immovable. Steady – yes. Immovable – no. If we’re unable to be shaped and molded by life and what it brings, eventually we’ll grow stagnant. Eventually that stagnancy leads to our decay (mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually).

I’m stubborn. If I have to, I’ll plant my feet in and won’t let go. But eventually, something stronger than me (God) is going to come along and knock me down. Trust me when I tell you – it’s easier to move yourself at His lead than to be dragged by Him. Keeping working through the cycle – it’s worth it.

Until next time…

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